NIGHT VISION

Malachi rolled himself over into the patch of sunlight by the front window. He was feeling rather hungry, and there had been no sign of the keeper of the can opener arriving home. This was a misfortune, he felt, as his tummy rumbled gently with emptiness. Then he heard the familiar slam of the door of the old blue car, and he knew that help was on the way.

Purring, he made the usual feline obeisance by rubbing himself against the trouser cuffs, receiving an affectionate stroke down his back. “Hungry old guy?”

Of course he was hungry! Didn’t this man know that cats should be served meals on a regular basis? He realized he’d have to give basic obedience lessons to this new owner. It was such a shame that his old owner had disappeared so suddenly, just when he’d had her well disciplined! That was the trouble with these tall creatures, who inhabited the cat world. No consideration!

So here Malachi was, starting basic training once more. This one, however, might be more of a problem, as he seemed to disappear and reappear at odd times. Yesterday, for example, he’d hung around all day and then suddenly went out when it was very dark, and hadn’t reappeared until nearly noon.

The whir of the can opener brought Malachi to the kitchen, and he wove his way around the trousers until he heard the welcome plop of food hitting his bowl. Sniffing, Malachi hoped for the delicious scent of chicken, not that smelly fishy stuff that sometimes was placed in front of him. That was another job he would have to work on: no fish, and not too much liver, it really gave him heartburn. But today was one of the good ones, and he wrapped himself around his bowl of Kitty Delight Chicken, fervently lapping it up in tiny bites until the bowl was glisteningly empty.

“You must have been hungry” came the ridiculous remark from over his head, and he went into the prescribed routine of purring and rubbing once again.

No, not hungry, half-starved, he thought and padded over to the litter box, where he turned his back pointedly, and then was delighted to see that this early lesson on how to request fresh bathroom products had finally sunk in. The soiled product had been rapidly removed from near his fastidious nose and replaced with a clean refill. Perhaps this new one wouldn’t be too hard to train after all, he thought, if only he would start keeping more regular hours.

The jangling ring of the telephone interrupted his thoughts, and he was aware the tall one was speaking rapidly to someone, firing off questions and talking to himself as he wrote down what must have been instructions.

“Okay,” he was saying, “You’re leaving this evening? Ten thirty? Yep. I’ll be there. Let’s see if we can catch the two of them together this time. Last evening was a total washout. Just your wife and a couple of girlfriends at another woman’s house, I found. A “girls night out” I guess. They had pizza delivered and they brought in beer and never left the house until 10 this morning. Maybe we’ll have better luck tonight. How long are you gone for? And she knows that? Great. I’ll try to get a few pictures if I can. Do you know what this guy drives? Yeah, yeah, I got that. A red convertible? You’re sure? Yeah. That’ll make the job easier. I hope to have some evidence for you when you get back. Luckily it’s supposed to be warmer tonight. Makes watching from a car much more comfortable. Okay. Wish me luck!”

“Got to get some sleep,” he told Malachi after he’d hung up the phone. “I’m back on duty again tonight. Want to come with me? I could sure use some company out there.”

Malachi purred his assent, though he was fairly sure his message wasn’t understood. “Sure I’ll come along, if you’ll guarantee some refreshments,” he meowed.

And that evening, as the coat was being donned once again, Malachi planted himself firmly at the front door, ready for an evenings outing. That was one of the drawbacks of this new owner. He was never let out for the night, his favorite time to be out on his own.

“Hey! That’s right! You can be my partner tonight. Two sets of eyes are better than one, they say, and for a private eye, that goes double! I’ll just bring along your harness if you need an outing. A litter box in a car isn’t my idea of fresh air.” And the legs hurried back down the hall to the kitchen.

And don’t forget the refreshments, thought Malachi, who was relieved to see a box of cat snack treats arrive along with the leash. He allowed the pink collar to be fastened around his neck. (What had the man been thinking! Pink?) And then he obediently strolled out to the old car and leapt gracefully in, amongst the accumulated debris that seemed to fill much of the space , redolent of old cups of coffee, half drunk and then forgotten, and paper bags with the grease stains of quickly eaten hamburgers. And this guy was bothered by his litter box odors? Malachi sniffed disdainfully and then investigated one of the bags where a few forgotten French fries still lurked.

He curled up on an old car rug as the car started up, and the man’s voice rumbled on, telling him (or was he talking to himself? Malachi wondered) about their duties for the evening. “She’s been running around with this young guy from the local car dealership. Her husband wants a divorce real quick, before she knows that he’s onto her, so she won’t be prepared with some clever lawyer demanding a lot of alimony. Besides, it doesn’t look good for a bank manager to be involved in a sordid divorce.”

Malachi wasn’t sure of the word divorce. His first owner, this guy’s old aunt, hadn’t “run around” with anybody. She just went to work. Malachi thought she was teacher or something. She always smelled of chalk and carried many papers with her, and — and this was a big “and” — she never stayed out all night like this one did! But this man had come quickly when they took her away in a noisy white truck he had heard someone call an ambulance, and she hadn’t returned. He’d taken Malachi home with him, along with his belongings, a bowl, a cushion and a blanket, and leash, but not a collar, as Malachi had hidden it out in the back garden one day. (He was sorry he’d done that when he saw the new substitute pink thing he was supposed to go out in! Talk about embarrassing!)

The evening started off quietly, as they drove for a half hour into a much busier area of town. His owner parked the car away from a streetlamp, which pleased Malachi, as bright lights always spoiled his great night vision.

Are we getting out here? Malachi wondered, sitting up at attention, but soon realized they weren’t, as his driver settled down, head turned toward the window. He seemed to be watching the front driveway of a wide stone house. In the driveway was parked an extremely shiny silver car, large and luxurious looking. While Malachi watched, the front door opened, and a rotund man, with silvery grey hair emerged, carrying a small suitcase. He glanced around, and spotting their old blue car, waved briefly at his owner who returned the gesture. A red-haired woman appeared, framed for a minute in the doorway, kissed the man perfunctorily, before disappearing back inside.

The man opened the car door and swung the suitcase into the back seat, then drove off. The street returned to silence for some minutes, and Malachi and his owner settled themselves more comfortably, until a low red convertible swung into the driveway with its radio blaring loud music.

The car driver emerged, a tall, dark-haired young man who gave a furtive glance around before loping up to the door of the house and knocking. When it swung open, the red-haired woman made another brief appearance, and then the two of them disappeared within. After a short while, the lights downstairs were turned off, and the upstairs windows lit up. They only stayed on for a few minutes.

Malachi saw that his owner was busying himself adjusting a camera, obviously displeased, as he muttered aloud something about poor lighting, and then he sank back down in his seat and eventually started snoring gently. Malachi settled himself into the old blanket more comfortably and also started to take a brief nap.

He was jolted awake some time later by the sound as the large silver car reappeared down the street and screeched to a stop in front of the stone house. The driver threw the door open and hurried to the door, where he started a noisy pounding. Malachi, thinking this might be important to their job, jumped into the front seat on sharp claws, which he used to good advantage to wake up his sleeping partner, just in time to see the door flung open and the young man emerge, pulling a shirt on as he sprinted back to the red car, and vaulted into the driver’s seat. A moment later the motor sprang back to life with a loud roar.

The older man moved quickly to station himself in the way of the red car’s hasty departure. The car driver spun the wheel rapidly to swerve around him, then started up the street, with the older man running after it for a moment. He pulled something from his pocket as he ran, obviously a gun, that caused a loud bang and a flash. He shot at the car three times. The red car abruptly jumped the curb, and slammed into a lamp pole, and all fell silent again. Up and down the street, lights came on in houses, and people emerged in little clusters, wearing assorted dressing gowns and pyjamas.

Malachi’s partner, now wide awake, jumped out of their car and ran to the red convertible, looking inside at the figure slumped down over the wheel. Then he shouted at the older man, “Put the gun down! He’s dead! You’ve killed him!”

The older man in return was shouting, “You saw me.! He tried to run me down and kill me! You’re my witness!”

“No, you deliberately got in the way. He was avoiding you!”

“No, no!” the older man cried. “He tried to kill me! It was self-defence. You saw it! You’re a witness!”

“No, no, no! It was murder!” shouted Malachi’s owner in return. “Give me the gun.” And he strode over and attempted to wrest it out of the man’s hand.

A wailing sound reached Malachi’s ears, as a white police car swung into the street, stopped briefly at the crashed convertible, before drawing up beside the two figures who were struggling, the small man still demanding that he be let go, that he hadn’t done anything. He kept shouting that the car driver had tried to kill him by driving at him. The two officers who had erupted from the squad car pulled the two men apart.

Malachi’s owner was still repeating “No! You got in his way deliberately! He didn’t try to run you down at all…”

Malachi kept shouting at him too, “He’s right, he’s right! You did it!“ But nobody seemed to hear his voice.

“Listen to me! Listen! Why can nobody hear me? That’s another thing I’ll have to work on,” complained the cat before jumping back into the car to find the bag of cat treats that had been spilled in all the excitement.

His owner eventually resumed his seat and turned to Malachi. “Thanks, old man. If you hadn’t waken me up in time, I might have believed that sleazebag’s story. Imagine him trying to set me up like that as his alibi. I owe you one! Say, how’d you like to come on most of my jobs, like a partner, eh? With your night vision, we’d make a great team. Let’s see. We could run the business as Four Eyes Investigations. How’s that sound you to, buddy?”

Oh, night work! Malachi thought. He’d like that and purred his acceptance. But, he thought, I’d better work on those communication skills if I don’t want to just be the silent partner in this business.

THE END