Mesdames of Mayhem

COMEDY WRITER FALLS RIGHT OVER THE CLIFF ~ Melodie Campbell

Posted on April 28, 2013 by mesdamesofmayhem

Ever make a really bad typo? I mean really bad.

My worst ever professional mistake was in an Annual Report for a one-hundred-million dollar corporation, in which an innocent little ‘t’ went missing from the word ‘assets.’ The board was not amused by “This year, we experienced an increase in corporate asses.”

Today, I found out what one little vowel can do to ROWENA AND THE DARK LORD.

Okay, REALLY uncool when you misspell the name of your own book on your own blog.

ROWENA AND THE DARK LARD is probably not the best way to get sales for a fantasy series. However, as I do write comedy, I’m thinking about a parody.

Is it okay to write a parody of your own book?

Draft one: ROWENA AND THE DARK LARD
Synopsis 1: Rowena moves back to Land’s End and opens up a bakery.
Synopsis 2: Cedric’s use of dark magic goes totally out of control, and so does his appetite.
Synopsis 3: Thane and Rowena return to Land’s End and become pig farmers.
Synopsis 4: Rowena messes up another spell that causes all who look at her to turn into donuts.
Synopsis 5: Rowena kills off Nigella Lawson in a battle with pastry rollers, and assumes the role of Prime Time Network Food Goddess .
Synopsis 6: Someone takes a totally justified whack at the author. End of series.

Excerpt from ROWENA AND THE DARK LORD

Men’s voices again, echoing like souls lost in a fog. The mist lifted in one swift movement to disappear into nothingness. In its place, were at least a hundred men.

Bugger. I messed up.

“Houston, we have a problem,” I said out loud. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I must have pronounced one of the spell words wrong.

“Who is Houston?” Lars said.

“Romans!” Gareth hissed. He drew his sword.

“Romans?” I stared at the battle-scarred men before us. They looked exhausted. They also looked bloody, dirty and rather short. Not to mention confused.

How the heck could they be Romans?

Someone yelled “Form Square!” in—yup—that was Latin.

“What the hell?” I stared. The men came to life moving with purpose into a square. Within seconds we were facing a shield wall bristling with spears.

The man on horseback stared at me. No stirrups on his saddle. A helmet that was in history books. Definitely Roman. I stared back at him.

Romans? In this time? What the poop had I done?

“It’s a freaking temporal rift!” My laugh was strident. “Where the hell is Spock when you need him?

Melodie Campbell achieved a personal best this year when Library Journal compared her to Janet Evanovich. She has over 200 publications, including 100 comedy credits, 40 short stories, and 4 novels. She has won 6 awards for fiction.

Visit Melodie at her site: www.melodiecampbell.com
Or at her Blogsite: www.funnygirlmelodie.blogspot.ca

ROWENA AND THE DARK LORD is NOW AVAILABLE at the special introductory price of .99! (regular price $3.99, after May 1.)

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged award winning writers, books, comedy, crime, crime fiction, crime writers, e-publishing, fantasy, fiction, funny, humor, independent publishing, mesdames of mayhem, mystery, publishing, suspense, time travel | 5 Comments

Mayhem at Arthur Ellis Short-List Announcement ~ Joan O’Callaghan

Posted on April 23, 2013 by mesdamesofmayhem

This past Thursday night (April 18), everyone in Canada’s crime-writing community was holding their collective breath in anticipation. This year’s finalists for the Arthur Ellis Awards were to be announced. The crowd gathered in the Chapters/Indigo store at Bay and Bloor, Toronto, included a good many members of the Mesdames who soon made their presence known. But I’ll get to that shortly. Patience, patience…

“Arthur Ellis” was the pseudonym given to Canada’s first hangman, so that friends and relatives of those who encountered him at the business end of the noose would be unable to identify him. It is a fitting name for Crime Writers of Canada’s annual crime-writing awards. But I digress, gentle reader….

Our host for the evening was the charming and affable Jon Redfern, (The Boy Must Die and Trumpets Sound No More), himself a former AE winner.

First on the program was a reading by acclaimed author Joy Fielding from her new novel, Shadow Creek. The segment read by Fielding was gripping. However, I was just as taken by her short black skirt and high red patent heels. High fashion meets suspense!

Several of Canada’s crime writers then read from their work to the delight of the assembled aficionados and several Chapters/Indigo customers who crept over to the group to listen in. It was a veritable feast of murder, mischief and mayhem, a delightful, if somewhat gruesome, two hours.

Elegant and poised, Mesdames member Cathy Astolfo led off, reading from her book Victim. She was followed by Mesdames member, Melodie Campbell, whose hilarious reading from her novel The Goddaughter, left us wiping our eyes with laughter and wanting more. Rosemary McCracken, also a member of the Mesdames, read from her soon-to-be-released novel, Black Water, the second in the Pat Tierney series.

After a short break and replete with coffee and giant cookies (definitely not on the menu if I want to dress like Joy Fielding), the moment we’d all been waiting for, arrived. The finalists in the various Arthur Ellis categories were announced, and the Mesdames were right in there!

Our own Melodie Campbell is a finalist in the Short Story category, with her Life Without George.

Cheryl Freedman, the Mesdames esteemed editor and, better known to Crime Writers of Canada, as “she who must be obeyed” announced the finalists in the Best First Novel category.

Elegant, silver-haired Lynne Murphy, author, member of the Mesdames, and a past president of the Toronto chapter of Sisters in Crime, announced the finalists in the Novella category. Lynne, by the way, made the long list in the Unhanged Arthur category, for her manuscript, Cold as a Toad. Lynne is a very funny lady. Between Lynne and Mel (Campbell) – who knew that murder could be so funny? A wicked sense of humour one might say.

But before leaving the novella category… well-known Canadian crime writer, and Mesdames member, Vicki Delany’s offering, A Winter Kill, is a finalist.

Mesdames founder, author, Arthur Ellis and Debut Dagger finalist, M.H. Callway, announced the finalists in the Non-Fiction category.

Congratulations everyone who made the cut, especially our own Mesdames of Mayhem!

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Murphy’s Law of Technology – a cautionary tale for authors! ~ Donna Carrick

Posted on April 16, 2013 by mesdamesofmayhem

Spring is in the air…er…sort of.

In keeping with our tempermental weather, this author has found the season to be a tad unpredictable, in more ways than one.

Every challenge brings us an opportunity to learn, and the struggles of an independent author/publisher are no exception. With that in mind, allow me to share with you, dear reader, my latest “lesson in technology”.

In May, 2011 I purchased a laptop from Dell — one of their better models, to say the least. Given my other job as an e-Publisher (See Carrick Publishing) I felt the expense was warranted, and I was not disappointed with the decision.

As part of my package from Dell, I also purchased Microsoft Office 2010 and Adobe Acrobat 9.0. I found these tools to be invaluable in my day-to-day writing and e-publishing journey.

Then came “the crash of 2013”, also known as the “birthday debacle”, because it occured a couple of weeks ago, on my most recent birthday.

As a result of said ‘debacle’, yours truly lost almost everything.

A collection of high-end software that would bring a tear to the eye of any self-respecting geek, gone, just like that.

Precious e-Files, that cost more woman-hours of labour than I care to admit, disappeared, in an instant of horror, back into the dust of creative imaginings.

After much debate with both Microsoft and Adobe, I was forced to admit defeat. Because 2 years have passed and I no longer can recall exactly where I stored the product keycodes, neither Dell, nor Microsoft, nor even fine Adobe will offer to help me. The sad conclusion: I’m being forced to re-purchase the vital software at today’s not-to-be-sneezed-at prices.

There was one saving grace, however — one area in which my pride can be redeemed. At least I had the good sense to back up the most important of my e-files!

And so, my friends, here is the lesson I’d like to share with you all in the midst of this so-called Spring we’re experiencing:

BACK IT UP
BACK IT UP
KEEP IT SAFE
AND BACK IT UP SOME MORE

Not to put too fine a point on it, ladies and gentlemen, whether you’re a writer, a business-person, an artist or a hobbyist, the lesson is the same:

Back up those files, and for goodness sake, if you purchase a software, keep your product code in a safe place!

And now, at last, the sun is shining here in the True North. We’ve been led to believe that Spring will finally, er, spring.

In the spirit of renewal and vigor that April brings, I wish you all a season of productivity, creativity, and much attention to backing up your work!

Donna Carrick is the author of 3 mystery novels: The First Excellence, Gold And Fishes, and The Noon God. At her Amazon Author page, you’ll also find her two Crime Anthologies: Sept-Iles & other places and Knowing Penelope. Under Carrick Publishing, she also compiled, edited and contributed to the multi-genre anthology EFD1: Starship Goodwords, featuring 21 of today’s talented authors and poets, including a few of our own Mesdames of Mayhem!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Adobe, advice for writers, award winning writers, backing up files, books, crime fiction, crime writers, Dell, e-books, e-publishing, independent publishing, mesdames of mayhem, Microsoft, mystery, publishing, software, suspense, technology, Writing | 7 Comments

Welcome Readers! ~ M.H. Callway

Posted on April 9, 2013 by mesdamesofmayhem

This is the inaugural blog of the merry Mesdames of Mayhem! Since the Mesdames have named me, M. H. Callway, as the erstwhile founder of our autonomous collective, it is my honour and privilege to pen this our first entry.

And just in case, here is the definition of an autonomous collective via Monty Python:

We are a group of fourteen crime fiction authors. One of us is the winner of the prestigious Edgar, awarded by the Mystery Writers of America. Several of us are winners and finalists of the Arthur Ellis awards, Canada’s national prizes in the field of crime fiction.

Some of us are winners and finalists of the Bony Pete, sponsored by Bloody Words, Canada’s national conference for crime writing. And finalists for the famous Debut Dagger.

For details on our awards and publications, do check out our bios!

We writers are living through a revolution in book publishing with the advent of the e-book and digital distribution. Our greatest challenge is how to connect with you, our readers.

Bookstores are vanishing – even as hoped-for showrooms for e-books – how will readers discover new authors? How will readers learn that a treasured author has a new book out? Find out where to meet their favorite authors?

Stayed tuned to this site! The Mesdames will be most happy to share with you, dear reader, where and how to find our latest books. And book launches and other events where we can meet each other.

This fall, the Mesdames will be showcasing their talents in the upcoming short story anthology, Thirteen for 2013. We’ll be sharing with you our challenges in putting this magnum opus together.

An exciting event will take place on April 18th in several cities across Canada: the Arthur Ellis shortlist event. This is the date when we discover which books by Canadian crime writers are up for awards in 2013.

Many of the Mesdames have books and stories in the running. We’ll be keeping our fingers crossed for happy announcements on this site in ten days time!